Trick Or Treat

Ever been sitting there next to your dog, and wondered, what if my best pet decided to jump up and try to eat me? Or been out on a surfboard in the clear blue Pacific (or maybe not so clear in SoCal), thinking, I hope I don't get munched on by a killer shark.

Well, thanks to the non-homo sapien horror icons below, it's an understandable sentiment. Here's our tribute, then, to the 10 most terrifying beasties, imparting the notion that all of nature's bounty are just one bite away from tearing us apart, limb by limb, and gorging on our insides.

10. Grizzly  (1976)
    Ah, camping. The great outdoors. Plenty of beautiful mountainous scenery. And wow, is that a Douglas Fir tree? Next thing, you know, your guard's down, and ouch, what just bit my head off? The concept of this low-rent, '70s era knockoff is fairly ridiculous -- a park ranger rallies his troops to take down, as advertised in the tag line, '18 feet of towering fury!' (Where are Yogi and Boo-Boo when you need them?) But the idea of being eaten by a grizzly bear has its own built-in unpleasantries, and we bet after watching this one, you'll be a little (or a lot) spooked by any kind of 'rarrrr' sound the next time you pitch a tent in the dark.

(Copyright Lionsgate)

9. Alligator (1980)
   Somewhere in between the time he starred in Disney's The Black Hole and Quentin Tarantino's  Jackie Brown, Oscar nominee Robert Forster made time for this repellant animal killer flick, which finds a giant alligator loose in the Chicago sewers. Maybe it's just us, but there aren't many worse places to be stuck than in a dank sewer, with an oversized, scaly alligator ready to dine on your toesies.

8. Orca: The Killer Whale  (1977)
   Yes, ok, it's another rip-off of Jaws, but in the annals of killer critters, Orca emerges at the top of the wave. For one thing, he's a little more colorful than Jaws. For another, he's awfully dedicated and determined to eat through anything or anyone to get at the sea captain (Richard Harris) who killed his female mate. The flick is also noteworthy for a particularly memorable scene wherein screen siren Bo Derek offers up her sexy leg as a sea snack. 

7. Willard  (1971)
   Your mom always warned you not to play with rats, and here's a good reason why. A lonely guy named Willard trains his furry minions to bid his doing, attacking the banker who wants to take away his house. The biggest, dirtiest, creepiest rat in the floorboards, Ben, then bites the human hand -- and a lot more -- that feeds him. Creepy, too, is Michael Jackson's  song, “Ben,” an Oscar-nominated love song to the rat for the 1972 follow-up (way before Ratatouille made rodents so cuddly).

(Copyright Columbia Pictures)

6. Anaconda (1997)
   Sometimes killer animals and gut-busting laughs go hand in hand (or paw and craw). This immensely entertaining Ice Cube/J.Lo-starring movie concerns a documentary crew that gets trapped in the Amazon with a huge man-eating snake. It's hard to say what's funnier, the fake-looking CGI snake, or Jon Voight's scenery-chewing treasure hunter with an indecipherable accent. The coolest, most eww-inducing effect: not only does the Anaconda eat you whole, it eats you up, vomits you back, then eats you again...like we said…eww.

(Copyright Republic Pictures)

5. Cujo (1983)
   Poor Cujo. The St. Bernard was a happy family puppy, up until the day he got bit by a rabid bat. The next thing you know, he's trying to devour his little playmate and mom Dee Wallace (also the mom in E.T.). Of course, this dog will have to be put down. But that's a lot easier said than done, as mom and son are trapped in a car, and somewhere, out there...maybe behind that tree...lurks...Cujo. Killer dog movies are tricky to pull off, but this adaptation of Stephen King’s book is game enough. And “Cujo” has to be the coolest name ever given to a killer animal.

(Copyright New World Pictures)

4. Piranha (1978)
   Long before he terrorized suburbia with those little creatures called Gremlins, filmmaker Joe Dante  directed Piranha (whose sequel would be made by then-unknown James Cameron). It's all silly horror, as a couple of not-so-smart adults accidentally let loose a bunch of murderous piranha into a river that leads straight into a children's summer camp and resort. Whoops! Funny horror set-up, ok. But ultra-icky, somewhat distasteful, and fairly disturbing? Heck yeah. No one, young or old, wants to go out treading water, and being nipped, nipped and nipped to death.

(Copyright Buena Vista Pictures)

3. Arachnophobia (1990)
   Being crawled on, stung by, and eaten by spiders is not much fun, either. This movie, though, is an underrated gem. It's nearly as exciting, entertaining and “ahhhh-don't-go-in-there!” thrilling as Jaws, and features a great cast and some absolutely nasty-looking arachnids. Our favorite human: John Goodman, who plays the ultimate take-no-prisoners bug exterminator, Delbert McClintock.

2. The Birds  (1963)
   There are some legitimate killer animal classics out there as well, and Alfred Hitchcock  helmed the first great one. When a rich San Francisco girl heads north to pursue a potential boy toy, all of heaven breaks out, as birds of different feathers flock together to enjoy and feast on some human delicacies. Given the number of birds that have ended up on our windshields and dinner tables, maybe it's just payback.

1. Jaws (1975)
   The progenitor of all killer movie knock-offs (and summer popcorn movies) is a beast whose only small asset is his fin. If you see him coming at you, swim. Fast. Before Jaws, people used to laugh and play and splash water all around, listening to the Beach Boys  and contemplating our bright and sunny, beautiful world. After Jaws, well, a lot of people never made it back to the beach. Those that did were a lot more cautious. Here's one reason Jaws is so scary. If you're going to be eaten by a huge, real-life monster with teeth and black eyes, it would be great to have some advance warning. With the great white shark in Jaws, you might not...although for sure, you're going to feel it. Anyway, anyone want to go swimming?

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